FunnyColumns

Unsung heroes of the Winter Games

Picture this: A Pakistani skier is hurtling down the slopes at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. “Come on, Muhammad, you can do it,” he says to himself. “Make your country proud.” A gold medal would be terrific and so would a silver or bronze, but Muhammad Abbas is a realistic man and knows it would be a great achievement, as the first Pakistani to ever compete in the Winter Olympics, just to finish the course ahead of the skier from India.

Abbas, 24, completed the two runs of the giant slalom in 79th place, about 43 seconds slower than the winner, Carlo Janko of Switzerland, but 14 seconds faster than India’s Jamyang Namgial, earning him a ticker-tape parade down the streets of Karachi. Perhaps even a date with Ayesha Gilani, Miss Pakistan World.

I’m not sure if Abbas was actually excited about finishing ahead of Namgial. Reporters didn’t get a chance to interview him, as he was busy carving the words “Pakistan Power” in the snow.

Namgial, one of three Winter Olympians from India, was last among skiers who completed the giant slalom. But he has plenty to be proud of. Not only did he make it to the bottom of the hill, he crossed the finish line with his entire head above the snow.

Yes, he didn’t fall on his face, sprain his ankle or suffer some other leg injury, like so many skiers who found themselves hobbling around Olympic Village on crutches, prompting one enterprising photographer to open a booth with a sign that said: “Get your Winter ‘Oh Limp’ Pics here!”

Just qualifying for the Winter Olympics was a major achievement for Namgial and cross-country skier Tashi Lundup. The Indian government doesn’t invest much money in winter sports, just a few million rupees or so, barely enough to cover the cost of importing snow from Russia.

Actually India does get some flakes in the northern regions –- and not just when the backpackers run their fingers through their hair. But with little financial support and inadequate equipment, it was quite a challenge for Namgial to learn to ski. If you don’t believe me, just try coming down a mountain slope with two cricket bats glued to your shoes.

Namgial deserves our admiration, as do the other Winter Olympians from warm-weather countries, athletes such as Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong of Ghana, Leyti Seck of Senegal and Robel Teklemariam of Ethiopia. Not only do they have little, if any, snow in their native countries, people think they’re crazy when they pour dried potato flakes down a hill.

Friend: “Hey man, why you wasting all this food?”

Athlete: “I’m not wasting it. I’m pretending it’s snow. The Ministry of Sports bought it for me.”

Friend: “You better not let them see you. I don’t think they knew what you meant when you asked them for training food.”

For Skiwell Phiri of Zambia, going to the Winter Olympics was an experience he’ll be telling his grandchildren about. I’m so glad he shared it with us through Twitter:

---“Just arrived in Vancouver. It’s so white over here -– and I’m not talkin bout the people.”

---“Brrrr … It’s freezin outside. I don’t know what’s crazier –- me coming here or Canadians complaining about global warming.”

---“Does anyone know if it’s safe to defrost my brain in the microwave?”

---“Whose idea was it to have the Winter Olympics in such a cold country anyway?”

---“I just met the Olympians from Ghana, Senegal and Ethiopia. They were in the main lounge of Olympic Village, huddled around the fireplace.”

---“It’s time to go home. I enjoyed the Winter Olympics, despite the weather. Maybe next time I’ll come as a competitor.”

Column: Missing out on Halloween

Since it's Halloween, I thought you might enjoy a column I wrote a decade ago.

 

  MISSING OUT ON HALLOWEEN

  Halloween has always been somewhat of a mystery to me.
 
  Perhaps that's because I grew up in Africa, where you'd have
  to be a little crazy to leave your pumpkins outside. Folks
  there never have trouble distinguishing between decorations
  and food. And leaving food on your porch is not a good idea.
  Especially during a famine. When people are starving, there
  is nothing more arrogant than decorating your house with
  food.
 
  Actually, the conditions were never that bad in Zambia, the
  country I grew up in. We never felt the need to go door to
  door, begging for candy.
 
  My mom would have been so embarrassed if I had asked a
  neighbor for food. Especially after giving the neighbor a
  threat. Trick or treat? A quick call to my mother and the
  trick would have been saving my butt from a whipping.
 
  If we were guests at someone's house and they offered me a
  second helping of dessert, the correct response was "No,
  thank you." Mom was always watching and I didn't want it to
  be my last dessert.

Remembering a daughter, educating a village

Their daughter, Elizabeth, died in a bicycle accident in 2002 while serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in Zambia. Linda and Gerry Bowers are keeping her memory alive by doing something that would make her very proud: educating underprivileged Zambian girls. The Oregon couple, who are receiving a commendation from the Peace Corps, created a memorial fund for Elizabeth that evolved into the Elizabeth Bowers Zambia Education Fund.

So far, 85 women in grades eight through 12, who call themselves Beth's girls, have received Zambia Education Fund scholarships, which pay for everything from school and exam fees to tutoring. When the fund started, only four girls from the village were going to school.

Then and now, the only school in the village is Lumwana West Basic School, which goes up to grade nine. Students who want to go to high school -- grades 10 through 12 -- must travel to the next town over, Mwinilunga. Scholarships help pay their boarding costs.

Since 2004, about 25 women have continued on to high school with the help of the Education Fund. Three have graduated, including Prudence Masanyinga, who has gone on to study sociology at a government institute. [Link]

Getting an education is a prudent thing to do, as Prudence would say.

"The most rewarding part of this project is how the education of the girls in this village will eventually expand to improve families and society in Zambia," said Karen Chittick, secretary of the nonprofit's board of directors. "You're not just giving a girl an education. They will return to the village as role models for other girls." [Link]

They'll be models for the boys, too -- not the kind with great figures, but the kind who can figure things out.