If you're planning to drive across the country with children aged 10 or younger, let me give you some
advice: go and see a psychiatrist immediately. You need help! With a little therapy or medication, you may be able to control this urge to inflict pain on yourself.
I wish I had seen a psychiatrist before my recent 14-hour drive to Edmonton with my three kids, Lekha, Divya, and Rahul, also known as the PASSENGERS FROM HELL.
The trip was partly for business -- my wife needed to make a presentation at a conference -- and partly for pleasure -- the kids were looking forward to having lots of fun, which is why it wasn’t long after she sat in the car that Divya asked the question, “Are we there yet?”
“Not yet,” Lekha said. “Mommy’s still checking if she turned the stove off.”
Divya paused, waited a little while and asked the question again.
“We’re getting closer,” Lekha said. “I just saw the sign at the end of our street.”
In her defense, I should mention that Divya is only 5 and didn’t really have a concept of where we were going, why we were driving such a long distance to visit some guy named Ed Minton.
Many parents have DVD players in their vehicles, so the kids can watch movies during a long trip, movies that, with any luck, will put them to sleep. We decided not to take a DVD player along, partly because we wanted our kids to do some creative stuff on the trip and partly because, like most good parents, we were suffering from brain damage.
children. Kids are such a joy! I have three little ones myself and let me tell you, when I'm at work, I'm constantly looking at my watch, counting how many hours are left before the peace and calm ends. 
friends. A few of their parents were over too, so we had quite a full house. The kids had a good time, and everything went fairly well, so I really shouldn't have any complaints. But I do ...
in New York City or getting all my teeth pulled. I thought I would just make the rules -- "Don't forget to tidy your room before going to bed" -- and my children would follow them -- "Yes, Dad, we'll do it right away. Would you like us to tidy your room too?"
carpet and splattered everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Some of it even landed on the keyboard of my laptop. It took me about 10 minutes to clean it all up. It occurred to me how upset I would have been if one of my kids had done what I just did: carried a bowl of porridge so carelessly. I would have been furious. And yet I somehow resisted giving myself a lecture. I didn't go stand in front of the mirror and shout, "What's wrong with you? How could you waste so much food?" I didn't even give myself a 
