FunnyColumns

Radhika, why you leave and go?

I love Kenneth Salick's song "Radhika" -- okay, it's actually "Radica." Here's a funny video based on the song.

More on Salick at Malathi's blog.

Please check his blog!

Here's a funny video by "Tamil Superstar" Wilbur Sargunaraj (via India Uncut).

If you liked the song, don't miss Wilbur's interview on CBC Radio.

Report: Obama in big trouble over "jackass" comment

WASHINGTON -- President Obama is in trouble for calling Kanye West a "jackass" after the rapper interrupted singer Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards.

"Obama should not have called Kanye a jackass," said Donna Rivers, an African-American woman who marched outside the White House with hundreds of others Wednesday. "It's insulting and unfair to all jackasses."

Rivers and the other protesters, mostly members of the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), held up signs demanding that Obama apologize to jackasses.

"Poor creatures," said Matt Johnson, a Baltimore accountant. "What have they done to deserve being compared to Kanye? Have they ever stepped on a stage uninvited? Have they ever interrupted a speech by a horse or cow?"

He added that he has heard West's music on his teen-aged son's iPod and, if given a choice, would prefer to listen to a jackass braying.

Julia Flowers, a lifelong Democrat, said she found Obama's comment particularly upsetting because the symbol of the Democratic Party happens to be a jackass. "Obama should be more respectful to jackasses," she said. "The least he could have done was compare Kanye to some other animal, such as a rat."

But Maurice Davis disagreed with her, saying no animal deserved to be compared with West. "Why do animals need to be insulted?" Davis said. "Why couldn't Obama just say that Kanye West is a turnip?"

Davis' words did not sit well with fellow protester Lucas Rove of Hagerstown, Md., who happens to be a turnip farmer. "Leave turnips out of this," he said. "They're good vegetables."

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs released a statement saying that the President was speaking off-the-record and used the term "jackass" not to refer to the animal but as a synonym for "imbecile."

Gibbs' statement drew objections from another quarter. "We're insulted that the president believes that imbeciles are like Kanye West," said Glenn Beck, president of the American Association of Imbeciles.

Will Kanye read his own book?

Kanye West does not believe in reading books. But he does believe in sharing his wisdom, so he has published a book called “Thank You And You’re Welcome.”

His book is 52 pages — some blank, others with just a few words — and offers his optimistic philosophy on life. One two-page section reads, “Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!” Another page reads “I hate the word hate!” [Link]

Wow, Kanye, did you come up with those yourself?

Apparently not. The book has only 52 pages, yet Kanye needed help from J. Sakiya Sandifer, a motivational speaker and "thinker" who apparently does not read books either.

TEC: What books do you like to read?

JSS: Honestly, I don’t read much. Non reader-life inspires me. That’s what I write about. Life how I see it—recording my thoughts on paper. Think think think and think again were past conversations I had that incorporated real life situations. [Link]

So here we have two guys who don't read books, but want us to buy theirs, just in case we're eager to read “Kanye-isms" such as: "Get used to being used.” (Yeah, especially if you buy the book.)

West’s derision of books comes despite the fact that his late mother, Donda West, was a university English professor before she retired to manage his music career. She died in 2007 of complications following cosmetic surgery.

“Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed,” West said. “I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. [Link]

Me neither, Kanye. It would be kinda scary -- a book autographing itself.

It's a good thing you're not self-absorbed, Kanye. Otherwise, your book might have been 60 pages or something.

All kinds of doors opening for A.R. Rahman

Seema Saleem, Anchor, ETV-India: "Good evening. Our top story this hour is once again Slumdog Millionaire’s domination of the Oscars. The Danny Boyle-directed movie bagged eight Oscars, including two for our very own A.R. Rahman. Here’s his acceptance speech again …  Rahman has done India proud, not only winning two Oscars, but also performing parts of two songs and cracking more jokes than Hugh Jackman. Let's go to Ravi Ram, our correspondent in Hollywood, who is standing outside the Kodak Theatre. Ravi, one of the questions everyone in India is asking today is whether Rahman is going to pursue a career in stand-up comedy."

Ram: "Seema, I spoke to Rahman moments ago and he told me that he is not seriously considering stand-up comedy, but may give some tips to Russell Peters."

Saleem: "The man is truly amazing. Here’s his acceptance speech again …  He was part of a history-making night for India, with three Indians winning Oscars. And Ravi, I hear there was even more history made last night.”

Ram: "Yes, Seema, there definitely was. I have consulted with an Academy Awards historian and verified that when Rahman gave his acceptance speech, it was the first time Tamil was ever spoken at the Oscars. I have also verified that when Resul Pookutty was nominated for his award in sound mixing, it was the first time someone had ever said 'Pookutty' at the Oscars."

Saleem: “A great night of history indeed. Here’s Rahman’s acceptance speech again …  Ravi, this might just be the beginning of Rahman’s relationship with Hollywood.”

Ram: “Yes, Seema, the rumor here is that Hollywood is going to make a play for him.”

Saleem: “Will it be a musical?”

Ram: “No, what I mean is, they are going to try to grab him from India. In fact, one Hollywood producer said to me, 'You give us Rahman, we'll give you Shyamalan.'"

Saleem: "Rahman for Shyamalan? I can already see the protests. Let's go to Madhu Mahadevan, our correspondent in Chennai, for more on this developing story. Madhu, what are people saying about the possibility of Rahman going to Hollywood?"

Mahadevan: "People are not at all happy about that. I just spoke to a group of young fans who said that Rahman has a bright future here and that his Slumdog success, as well as his other movie work, has earned him the right to spend the rest of his life as Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu."

She didn't win, but she's still an Afghan idol

It's called Afghan Star, modeled after all the Idol shows around the world, and if you happened to catch it last Friday, you were probably disappointed to see the plucky 20-year-old, Lima Sahar, voted off. She finished in third place, the highest of any woman in the show's three-year history. If you're an Afghan woman, just singing in public can get people to rail against you, even if you can "bang" it out better than William Hung.

Sahar, who comes from Afghanistan's most conservative tribe -- the Pashtuns, thanked everyone who had voted for her. She also reminded the audience that there had been very little music in Afghanistan in the last two decades, which have been mostly consumed with war.

Under the Taliban regime that was overthrown in 2001, women were not even allowed out of their homes unaccompanied, while music and television were banned. [Link]

Reporter: "People say that the Taliban loves to ban everything. Is that true?"

Taliban leader: "Yes, yes, we love to ban. That's why we have the word 'ban' in Taliban."

Reporter: "What about women's rights? Do you believe in them?"

Taliban leader: "Yes, yes, we do. That's why we have the word 'lib' in Taliban."

"I am very happy to have come in third place," Sahar said on the show broadcast Friday night. "This is an honor for me that the people voted for me. I really thank them and I also congratulate them."

The country's conservative cleric's council has protested to President Hamid Karzai over "Afghan Star" and Indian dramas shown on Tolo TV, the country's most popular station. But younger Afghans say the show is helping women progress. [Link]

Progress comes in small steps. First you let women compete on Afghan Star, then you teach them how to program the VCR ...

Crank dat curry sauce

Since this blog has "curry" in its name, I just had to post this funny video.

And you thought Indians couldn't get the groove on!

Video by Pari and Harvin