Nshima & Curry

The creative kids who make wire cars

My kids were watching Sesame Street this morning and I caught a segment called Global Grover, in which the blue monster traveled to South Africa to find out how children make wire cars. It triggered a flood of memories of my childhood in Zambia. We didn't have lots of toys, but somehow managed to have lots of fun, using our creativity and imagination. Some children were adept at making wire cars. I could never make one. I wasn't particularly good with my hands, except when it came to fighting with my sister. I wasn't as talented as 11-year-old Taurai Moyo of Chivamba, Zimbabwe, who was featured in Highlights magazine.

When he was about five years old, Taurai visited his cousin in Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe, and learned to make wire cars. At eight, he was one of the best wire-car makers in his class. Today, he is the best at his school.

Taurai did not keep the skill of making wire cars all to himself. Many of his friends, like twelve-year-old Chenjerai, a talented wire-car maker, were once his students. According to Chenjerai, “What you need are the basic skills of shaping and straightening the wires, but first you have to observe how someone skilled, like Taurai, does it.” [Link]

Observing doesn't always work. I tried observing talented wire-car makers, but my creations always ended up looking like this. Making a good wire car isn't easy. Not only does your car have to move smoothly, it also has to look good. How else are you supposed to impress the young ladies?

Most of the boys can “drive” their cars anywhere they go—to school, church, and shops. Some wire cars are strong enough to carry parcels weighing up to two pounds.

Wire cars are driven on gravel roads or narrow paths littered with stones and covered with grass. Although you don’t need a license to drive a wire car, Taurai warns that “You need to be careful, just like someone driving a real car. If you are not, you may bump into a stone, and suddenly the whole car becomes a wreck.” [Link]

What do you do if your wire car is involved in an accident? You tow it to the wire-car garage, of course. And then you call your wire-car insurance agent.

Just like real cars, wire cars sometimes need repairs. The most troublesome parts are the wheels, which need to be regularly straightened to maintain balance. Other repairs include tightening up the wires that are fastened together.

Taurai has his own garage, where he makes and repairs his cars. He also repairs his friends’ cars that are involved in road accidents. These cars are usually complete wrecks, but they are not thrown away. The wires are unattached, straightened, and used to make a whole new car. [Link]

What do you do if you don't have enough money to pay the wire-car garage? You have it wired to you, of course.

I miss playing with wire cars. I wish my son would play with one. Unfortunately too many kids these days have gone wireless.

How to end the Kenyan domination

When it comes to marathons, there are seemingly two classes of runners: (1) Kenyans and (2) everyone else. The Kenyans usually beat everyone else. Actually, "beat" is inaccurate. How about "trounce"?  Well, that's not accurate either. How about "crush"?

How dominant have they been? The Boston Globe offers some clues, noting that Kenyans have won all but four Boston Marathons since Ibrahim Hussein's victory in 1988. In recent years, they've owned all five World Marathon Majors.

Since 2000, Kenyans have claimed Boston, Berlin, and Chicago six times apiece, London and New York four. "It's one of the most impressive streaks in sports we've ever seen," says New York race director Mary Wittenberg. [Link]

They've been especially dominant at the Boston Marathon largely because the race's organizers believe in inviting the best runners from around the world, no matter their country of origin. And invariably, many of them are Kenyan. In last year's world rankings, 68 of the top 100 marathoners were Kenyan, and seven of them finished in the top ten at Boston.

If Boston's elite field seems lopsided with Kenyans, that isn't a problem for the BAA. "I've heard comments over the years that it'd be nice to have an American win again," says Morse. "But we've always subscribed to the view that we should invite the best to be here, wherever they're from. I don't think it's a negative that the Kenyans have continued to dominate." [Link]

No, it's not a negative. But we really should give the non-Kenyans a fighting chance. I propose that we change the rules slightly:

1. All participants must run 26 miles. Kenyans must run all of them backwards.

2. All participants must wear running shoes. Kenyans must also wear ankle weights.

3. All participants must sign an injury waiver. Kenyans must also sign autographs along the route.

4. All participants may refresh themselves at the water stations. Kenyans must also stop at the Starbucks coffee station.

5. All participants must pass a drug test. Kenyans must also pass the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT).

I know what you're thinking: The Kenyans would still win.

Photo by Stuart Atkins

Will Mugabe 'take' off like the Clintons did?

When Bill and Hillary Clinton left the White House in January 2001, after eight years of living in rent-free luxury, conservatives were in a tizzy over reports that the Clintons not only trashed the house, but also made off with furnishings that didn't belong to them. It turned out that the reports of vandalism were untrue, and that Bill Clinton had mistakenly assumed that the Oval Office desk belonged to him. After all, no other president had spent so much time under it. Actually, Clinton didn't take the desk, but he and Hillary did take scores of other items that apparently were gifts to the White House, not to them.

Reporter: "Did you take items from the White House that didn't belong to you?"

Bill Clinton: "It depends on what your definition of 'take' is."

Reporter: "Did you move them to your new home?"

Clinton: "No, I didn't. I didn't move anything."

Reporter: "Did the moving company move them for you?"

Clinton: "Yes, the moving company did. But we have reprimanded them. And we're returning some items, paying for some items, and donating some items."

Reporter: "Who are you donating to?"

Clinton: "Uh ... Chelsea."

After they were criticized for taking $190,000 worth of china, flatware, rugs, televisions, sofas and other gifts with them when they left, the Clintons announced last week that they would pay for $86,000 worth of gifts, or nearly half the amount.

Their latest decision to send back $28,000 in gifts brings to $114,000 the value of items the Clintons have either decided to pay for or return. [Link]

It makes me wonder what's going to happen in Zimbabwe when Robert and Grace Mugabe move out of the State House, as they might do very soon, if Mugabe and his supporters can't manipulate election results. The 84-year-old leader has been in power for 28 years and has probably put his name on everything in the State House, including the kitchen sink.

Mugabe: "We need to take everything. Everything must go: sofas, chairs, beds, lights, plates, cups, bowls ..."

Grace: "All the bowls?"

Mugabe: "Yes, yes, all the bowls, even the toilet bowls."

Grace: "What about the tables?"

Mugabe: "Yes, yes, all the tables, even the vegetables."

Grace: "What about the pets?"

Mugabe: "Yes, yes, all the pets, even the carpets."

 

Goodness gracious, I've won the lottery!

I don't know how it happened, but I've won a lottery. I just got an email from the desk of the vice president of International Promotions in the Prize Awards Department of the Australian International Sweepstakes Lottery Corp.

You hereby have been approved a prize of US$1,000,000.00 (ONE MILLION DOLLARS) in cash credit file ref: ILP/HW 47509/02 from the total cash prize shared amongst eight lucky winners in this category. All participants were selected through a computer balloting system drawn from One hundred thousand E-mail addresses from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East and Africa as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually.

Wow, that's fantastic.  I love the Australians. Such generous people. I have only one question: Should I quit my job now or wait until I get the money?

This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some multinational companies in Australia as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.

I've always believed in social responsibility, especially the type of social responsibility that gives me one million bucks.

Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our European representative office in Amsterdam,Holland, as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of US$1,000,000.00 will be released to you from our Australian regional branch bureau in NIGERIA.

The money will be released from Nigeria? That's wonderful! I grew up in Africa, so this must be some kind of divine providence. Did I mention that Australia and Nigeria are my favorite countries?

Simply contact our Fiducial Agent, DR. Felix Williams.at (ausllotto_agent004@yahoo.com) to file for your claim. Please quote your Date of draw, Reference Number, Batch Number and Winning Number, which can be found on the top-left corner of this message. Also, you should give in your telephone number to help locate your file easily. For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your prize has been released to you.

Of course I'll keep it confidential. I won't tell a soul, except for my wife, children and extended family. My wife is going to be so excited.

Me: "One million bucks, honey! And I didn't even have to buy a ticket!"

Malathi: "Are you sure it's real?"

Me: "Of course it's real. Just look at the email address of their Fiducial Agent: ausllotto_agent004@yahoo.com. Doesn't that look real?"

Malathi: "Oh, I'm so happy! I can't wait to tell my relatives. I never told you this before, but some of them actually believed that marrying you would never pay off."

Me: "That's amazing!"

Malathi: "What's amazing? That some of them thought you'd never be a success?"

Me: "No, that some of them thought I would."

Photo by tobym

Robert Mugabe: A leader in denial

It's hard to imagine an economy in worse shape than Zimbabwe's. The country, which is having a presidential election on Saturday, was once the bread basket of Africa. Nowadays, few people get to eat bread, even if they have a ton of dough.

The Spar supermarket has bread at only $7 million a loaf. People rush to the shelf duly marked $7 million, but by the time they reach the till with their hyper-inflated Zimbabwean dollars, the price is up to $25 million.

That equals just 62 American cents, more than a teacher makes in a week. "How can we afford to eat that?" a woman exclaims. Customers leave their loaves at the counter and walk out with their brick-sized bundles of bank notes, angry and disconsolate. [Link]

Question: What do you call a Zimbabwean man who wins $25 million in the lottery?

Answer: The breadwinner of the family.

President Robert Mugabe has helped drag his country's economy into the ditch, but he nevertheless  hopes to return to office, apparently believing that, even at 84 years of age, he still has enough energy to dig a deeper ditch. "Let's give him a chance," his supporters seem to be saying. "Twenty-eight years isn't enough."

But does Mugabe really want to turn things around? He seems to think Zimbabwe is doing well as it is.

Mugabe rarely gives interviews to independent journalists but spoke for two-and-a half hours to Heidi Holland last December for her book, Dinner with Mugabe.

She concluded that Mugabe was profoundly out of touch, surrounded by sycophants too scared to tell him the truth about the dire state of Zimbabwe.

When Holland suggested that the economy was in a mess, Mugabe angrily insisted that Zimbabwe was "a hundred times better" than most African countries.

"Outside South Africa, what country is like Zimbabwe?" Mugabe said. "Even now. What is lacking now are goods on the shelves, perhaps, that's all. But the infrastructure is there. We have our mines, you see. We have our enterprises." [Link]

Do you know what Americans would do if they went to the grocery store and found the shelves bare? They'd barbecue the president for dinner.

Then again, Mugabe meat may not taste as good as Bushmeat.

Photo by Sokwanele

There she is, Miss Landmine Survivor

Women who survived landmines in Angola will soon be taking part in a new beauty contest, Miss Landmine Survivor, not to be confused with the contest in Zimbabwe: Land-is-mine Survivor. The Angolan contest already has a major edge over Miss Universe: Donald Trump won't be present. 

The pageant has been organised by Angola's de-mining commission, and aims to restore the confidence of victims and raise awareness of their plight.

Millions of mines were planted in Angola during a 27-year civil war that ended in 2002.

The "Miss Landmine Survivor" contest will be held on 2 April in a luxury hotel in the Angolan capital, Luanda.

Eighteen women will take part, one from every province in the country.

All of the contestants have been maimed by landmines. [Link]

A contest in which you're expected to be missing a limb? Sure beats a contest in which you're expected to be missing a brain.

Actually, you can compete for Miss Landmine Survivor without missing an entire limb. And you can compete for Miss Universe without missing an entire brain.

It's really a myth that beauty contestants are dumb. Many of them are quite intelligent. And I say that not because I've studied their IQs or something, but because I don't want to get an ass-kicking from my cousin Rani Jeyaraj, a former Miss India. My very very smart cousin (who was born in Zambia).

The co-ordinator of Angola's de-mining commission, Madalena Neto, says the aim of the competition is to restore self-esteem in women injured in mine explosions, and to show that there is beauty in all people. [Link]

Yes, there's beauty in all people -- and it's not always on the outside. Sometimes you have to search a little deeper. And if you're wise enough to do the searching, you'll be rewarded far greater than those who don't.

Africa, the not-so-dark continent

Africa, even in the post-colonial era, has often been called the "dark continent" or referred to as "darkest Africa," mainly by people who have never set foot in Africa and apparently pictured it as one vast jungle upon which the sun never shined. Some have evidently relied on the words of tourists who visited Africa and never took off their sunglasses. ("You wouldn't believe it, Bob, even their sugar was dark!") It's been left to writers like me, who've spent years in Africa, to help shed some light on it. But to no avail.

As National Public Radio ombudsman (ombudswoman?) Alicia C. Shepard wrote in her blog, NPR newscaster Jean Cochran had to apologize recently for saying on Valentine's Day that President Bush was off on a visit to the "dark continent."

"I had no idea the term would be found offensive," said Cochran, who joined NPR in 1981. "I will concede antiquated but I was unaware it was 'racist and irredeemable,' as one person put it in an email. I was floored. Am I insensitive? I don't know how that could be since I didn't know there was anything to be sensitive about. I understood the term to refer to the African jungle. It's a canopy blocking out the light. A geographical term." [Link]

I could be wrong, but I think someone has been watching one too many Tarzan movies. Most Africans have never been to a jungle. The closest I've ever come to being in a jungle was in Baltimore.

Cochran is correct in one sense.  Originally, the term "dark continent" came into use in the 19th century to describe a continent largely unknown and mysterious to Europeans. Explorer Henry M. Stanley  used it in his 1878 book, Through the Dark Continent.

In fact, it is still used today, but in context. Because of the dearth of electricity on much of the continent, satellite imaging from outer space depicts much of Africa at night as literally a dark continent.  An article in The Economist last July, on how investors view Africa, refers to it as the "dark continent." "With all this concern of offending people, it is important for people to understand why and where the term exists," said Neal Weintraub, an author of four books on investing, who provided NPR The Economist example. [Link]

I don't buy that reasoning for the term's longevity. I don't think it has anything to do with electricity, even if Bill Gates has more lights in his front yard than Lusaka International Airport.

It's all about ignorance, a whole bunch of people who are still, despite our best efforts, in the dark.

The new Angola: made by China

Lucy Ash of the BBC World Service has written an interesting feature on the Chinese workers who are helping to rebuild Angola, a country still recovering from civil war.

Three hours south of the capital, in the coastal town of Sumbe, I find a team of 95 Chinese men finishing a technical college and about to start work on a hospital. The site is set back from the road and surrounded by a high fence.

Inside is Wang Weiheng, a 28 year old doctor from the Chinese city of Chonqing, whose job is to look after the construction workers.

"I try my best," she says, showing us the spartan dormitories where 10 men sleep in bunkbeds draped with mosquito nets. "But in the rainy season we had several cases of malaria."

In the kitchen are lots of paper signs in Mandarin taped to the wall. Weiheng says they tell the cooks which foods some people will not eat.

"I don't like pig's ear or leg of pork; others don't eat beef," says Dr Wang.

"Our food is very important to us - it stops us from feeling too homesick." [Link]

Chinese food is important to me too --  it stops me from feeling too sick of home food.

Dr Wang says she saw the job advertised on the internet. Her husband, whom she met a medical school, also applied for a posting in Angola.

He is the doctor at another building site in the town of Uaco Cungo, a day's drive away. Neither had been abroad before.

"In my mind, Africa was a country filled with animals like zebras and lions and lots of grass," laughs Dr Wang as she looks across the dusty, flat landscape beyond the camp. "So when I got here it was a big surprise." [Link]

What a brave woman! She thought Africa was full of animals like zebras and lions -- and she still went.

My translator, Lucy Corkin, an academic from South Africa, is researching the impact of Chinese credit across the continent.

She explains that a few years ago an overcrowded China decided to encourage its companies to invest abroad by creating the "Going Out" policy.

The idea was to expand excess capacity overseas and to cut unemployment at home.

"China has an unemployment rate of about 9% - not much by a developing country's standards, but nine percent of 1.3 billion is definitely a lot of people." [Link]

Government official: "Dr. Wang, instead of being unemployed in China, we're sending you to Africa to work."

Wang: "Oh no! Won't I be attacked by wild animals?"

Official: "No, Dr. Wang, the crew we are sending you with is very well-behaved."

No lashes, but 15 days in jail for Gibbons

Gillian Gibbons, the British teacher who let her students name a teddy bear Muhammad, has been convicted of insulting Islam and sentenced to 15 days in prison, after which she'll be booted out of Sudan. The judge could have sentenced her to 40 lashes and six months in prison, but was apparently swayed by a defense motion requesting him to use part of his brain.

The sentence, which seems intended to appease both sides, has not satisfied anyone, though some are more upset than others.

Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy bear "Muhammad."

The protesters streamed out of mosques after Friday sermons, as pickup trucks with loudspeakers blared messages against Gillian Gibbons, the teacher who was sentenced Thursday to 15 days in prison and deportation. She avoided the more serious punishment of 40 lashes.

They massed in central Martyrs Square outside the presidential palace, where hundreds of riot police were deployed. They did not try to stop the rally, which lasted about an hour.

"Shame, shame on the U.K.," protesters chanted.

They called for Gibbons' execution, saying, "No tolerance: Execution," and "Kill her, kill her by firing squad." [Link]

Asked if he was just as upset about the genocide in Darfur, one of the protesters pondered the question for a moment, then shouted, "Kill her, kill her by firing squad!"

A Muslim cleric at Khartoum's main Martyrs Mosque denounced Gibbons during one sermon, saying she intentionally insulted Islam. He did not call for protests, however.

"Imprisoning this lady does not satisfy the thirst of Muslims in Sudan. But we welcome imprisonment and expulsion," the cleric, Abdul-Jalil Nazeer al-Karouri, a well-known hard-liner, told worshippers. [Link]

They're thirsty? Perhaps they shouldn't be trying to dig a grave for Gibbons. Perhaps they should be trying to dig a well.

Muhammad Abdul Bari, secretary-general of the Muslim Council of Britain, accused the Sudanese authorities of "gross overreaction."

"This case should have required only simple common sense to resolve. It is unfortunate that the Sudanese authorities were found wanting in this most basic of qualities," he said. [Link]

Muhammad sounds upset. But if you ask his family, they'll tell you that he's kind and gentle. You might even call him a teddy bear.

We're outraged that they're outraged

Her students chose the name Muhammad for the teddy bear and she assented; now the British teacher in Sudan faces a potential punishment of 40 lashes. Welcome to another episode of "As the world goes insane."

The country's top Muslim clerics pressed the government to ensure that the teacher, Gillian Gibbons, is punished, comparing her action to author Salman Rushdie's "blasphemies" against the Prophet Muhammad.

The charges against Gibbons angered the British government, which urgently summoned the Sudanese ambassador to discuss the case. British and American Muslim groups also criticized the decision.

Gibbons, 54, was arrested at her home in Khartoum on Sunday after some parents of her students accused her of naming the bear after Islam's prophet. Muhammad is a common name among Muslim men, but the parents saw applying it to a toy animal as an insult. [Link]

An insult? Someone needs to tell them that a teddy bear is considered a cuddly, lovable toy. It's not like she gave the name 'Muhammad' to a red monster with a big orange nose. (No offense, Elmo. You're pretty lovable too.)

Sudanese Prosecutor-General Salah Eddin Abu Zaid said Gibbons was charged with inciting religious hatred and her case would be referred to courts Thursday.

If convicted, she faces up to 40 lashes, six months in jail and a fine, said Abdul-Daem Zumrawi, an undersecretary at the Justice Ministry. [Link]

You know who deserves 40 lashes? The parents who made a case of this. All they needed to do was tell Gibbons they were offended and, as British MP  Boris Johnson suggests, "she could have apologised; she could have instantly changed the name of the mascot to Paddington, or some other name less offensive to Muslims. She could have called it Aloysius, like the chap in Evelyn Waugh, and though Aloysius is a pretty emetic name for a teddy bear, no one would have suggested locking her up."

Muslim leaders in Britain and the U.S. strongly rejected the charges against Gibbons.

"This is a disgraceful decision and defies common sense," said Muhammad Abdul Bari, secretary-general of the Muslim Council of Britain. He said there was "clearly no intention" by the teacher to "deliberately insult the Islamic faith."

The American Islamic Congress also criticized the decision. "The Sudanese government's ridiculous case trivializes the feelings of Muslims around the world," said Nasser Weddady, the organization's civil rights outreach director. [Link]

It may come as a shock to some people, but not all Muslims think alike. Most of them are just like you and I: sane.

Watch out, the camels are coming!

The UN-African Union peacekeeping force in Sudan's Darfur region is having trouble getting around. They don't have enough jeeps and helicopters, so they're resorting to the next best thing: camels. These are no ordinary camels, of course. These are combat-trained camels.

India's Border Security Force (BSF) said it received a request last week from the United Nations to send the specially schooled animals to the troubled African region. ...

"All our camels are engaged in border-guarding duties and this whole process could take a long time," said BSF spokesman Vijay Singh, adding the agency could currently spare up to 60 of its 700-plus battle-ready animals for Sudan.

Indian border security forces use camels for long-range reconnaissance, including night patrols to track arms and drugs smugglers heading into the western states of Rajasthan and Gujarat from nearby Pakistan. [Link]

Camels are great because not only can they attain speeds of 40 mph, they don't require you to empty your wallet at the gas station.

India and South Africa are the only countries known to use camels for military purposes. [Link]

The United States military has used camels in the past -- and not just the kind you smoke. According to Wikipedia, "The United States Army had an active camel corps stationed in California in the 19th century." But they were apparently too stubborn and aggressive, qualities that are acceptable only in the Commander-in-Chief.

BSF deputy commandant Kamal Kumar Rathore, who heads the force's camel division, said India could purchase the animals from the open market and transport them to Sudan after a crash course in combat.

"There is no dearth of camels and we can make outright purchases, put them through a capsule course of four months and dispatch them to that country," Rathore said. [Link]

UN Peacekeeper: "What happened? Why did our camels crash into each other?"

Second Peacekeeper: "Blame the Indians. They put these animals through a crash course."

He said the camels conscripted into the BSF are trained not to react to gunfire and are taught to crawl and follow other "soldierly movements." [Link]

Soldier: "Let's crawl behind these rocks, so the enemy doesn't see us."

Camel: "Good idea. All they'll see is a big hump sticking out."

"Our camels move up to 80 kilometres (50 miles) with short breaks carrying ammunition and two mounts and they would be perfect.... I would be happy to lead them into Sudan," Rathore said. [Link]

I hope all the historians around the world are paying attention. If they're going to have a chapter in their books entitled "Napoleon leads his soldiers into Russia," they'd better have one entitled "Rathore leads his camels into Sudan."

Photo by FriskoDude

New York City needs more monkeys, India doesn't

There are plenty of monkeys in New York City and many of them happen to be Jets fans. But they're not the type of monkeys you'd want to eat -- if you're into eating them, that is. Monkey meat is a delicacy for some West African people, including a Liberian immigrant named Mamie Manneh, who has been charged with meat smuggling. A mother of nine children, she faces five years in prison, in addition to a two-year sentence she's currently serving for an unrelated offense, and could also be deported.

Manneh testified last year that before arriving in the United States more than 25 years ago, monkey meat was critical to her religious upbringing.

At age 7, "I was baptized and they used that for the baptizing ceremony," she told a judge.

Baptisms, Easter, Christmas, weddings — all are occasions for eating monkey, Manneh's supporters said in a sworn statement filed with the court.

The statement was vague about how the meat is obtained, but explains that it always arrives dried and smoked. Once blessed by a pastor, "we usually prepare it by cooking it for several hours into a stew," they said.

For them, the exotic import is more than just food.

"We eat bushmeat," they said, "for our souls."  [Link]

I've never eaten monkey meat -- my local grocery store doesn't carry it -- but I don't think it's any different from eating other wild animals. If you were raised on monkey, you'd probably get a craving every time you visited the zoo. You'd say to yourself, "The sign says, 'Don't feed the monkeys,' but it doesn't say anything about feeding on them."

You'd probably also wish you could import monkeys from India, where they're causing trouble in some towns and cities, behaving almost as badly as Shiv Sena activists.

Troupes of monkeys are out of control in India's northeast, stealing mobile phones and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators, lawmakers in the region have complained.

"Monkeys are wreaking havoc in my constituency by taking away mobile phones, toothpastes, sipping coke after opening the refrigerators," Hiren Das told Assam state's assembly Saturday.

He said the primates were "even slapping women who try to chase them". [Link]

They're sipping Coke and slapping women? What are they going to do next -- watch football?

We really need to do something about these male chauvinist monkeys. Exporting them is a possibility, but there's an easier option: inviting Mamie Manneh and her nine children to visit. As she and her friends might say, "If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em."

Photo by davideoneclick

Whatever you do, make sure you have the right guy

Mistaken identity can result in some funny situations, as it did last year when the BBC interviewed the wrong 'Guy.' Guy Goma, a Congolese man, was at their studio in London applying for a job, while Guy Kewney, the editor of a technology website, was there to be interviewed about a high court verdict on music downloading. The wrong Guy was put on the air and the video of the interview still makes me laugh. Goma's expression when he's introduced is priceless.

But mistaken identity can also result in some tragic situations, as it did recently when a Tanzanian hospital got two men with the same first name mixed up.

The Tanzanian man who had a knee operation when he had a tumour in his brain, has died after finally having the operation he required.

Emmanuel Mgaya, 19, died hours after the surgery, performed two weeks late.

Meanwhile, Emmanuel Didas, 20, who had brain surgery although his complaint was in the knee, is slowly recovering but he remains partially paralysed.

The government has apologised for the mix-up, which has been blamed on both men having the same first name. [Link]

Yeah, that's why a really smart person, many years ago, decided that people should have last names! People also have dates of birth and identification numbers that should prevent any mix ups, if the doctors and nurses are wide awake and sober.

Mr Didas cannot move his right side following the unnecessary operation. ...

Health Minister David Mwakyusa said a commission has been set up to investigate the saga and pledged to send Mr Didas to India for specialised treatment. [Link]

They had originally planned to send him to a hospital in Britain, but were concerned that Guy Goma might be applying for a job there.

Mr Mgaya was also due to have treatment in India but died before this was possible. ...

His family say they are not planning to sue the government - they always knew he only had a 50% chance of survival, as the tumour had grown so large. [Link]

If they don't file a lawsuit, I hope Didas does. That would help keep the hospital accountable. If he can't find a good lawyer, there's a guy in London who's willing to act like one.

Anglican Church gets a beating from Tutu

Archbishop Desmond Tutu isn't pleased about the Anglican Church's stance on homosexuality and has given the church, as well as the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, a tongue-lashing.

Archbishop Tutu referred to the debate about whether Gene Robinson, who is openly gay, could serve as the bishop of New Hampshire.

He said the Anglican Church had seemed "extraordinarily homophobic" in its handling of the issue, and that he had felt "saddened" and "ashamed" of his church at the time.

Asked if he still felt ashamed, he said: "If we are going to not welcome or invite people because of sexual orientation, yes.

"If God, as they say, is homophobic, I wouldn't worship that God." [Link]

St. Peter: "Archbishop Williams is on the phone, God. He wants to know if you love homosexuals."

God: "Tell him not to worry. I love him very much."

St. Peter: "God says he loves you very much, Archbishop Williams."

Archbishop: "Ah, just as I thought. He loves me, not them."

In the interview, Archbishop Tutu also rebuked religious conservatives who said homosexuality was a choice.

"It is a perversion if you say to me that a person chooses to be homosexual.

"You must be crazy to choose a way of life that exposes you to a kind of hatred.

"It's like saying you choose to be black in a race-infected society." [Link]

St. Peter: "Archbishop Williams is on the phone again, God. He wants to know if homosexuality is a choice."

God: "Tell him it would be crazy to choose a way of life that exposes you to hatred."

St. Peter: "God says it would be crazy to choose homosexuality, Archbishop Williams."

Archbishop: "Ah, just as I thought. Homosexuals are crazy."

The missing link in evolution theory

A 10-million-year old jaw bone discovered in Kenya may have belonged to our common ancestor, the one we share with our distant cousins in the zoo, gorillas and chimps. That common ancestor was a great ape, also known as great-great-great-great-grandpa.

The Kenyan and Japanese team found the fragment in 2005 along with 11 teeth in volcanic mud flow deposits in Kenya's northern Nakali region. [Link]

They found 11 teeth and a jaw fragment, but no sign whatsoever of a boxing ring.

The species -- somewhere between the size of a female gorilla and a female orangutan -- may prove to be the "missing link" in the evolution theory, Kenyan scientists said.

"Based on this particular discovery, we can comfortably say we are approaching the point at which we can pin down the so-called missing link," said Frederick Manthi, Senior Research Scientist at the National Museums of Kenya. [Link]

Pin down the missing link? If that sounds familiar, you're spending too much time watching the World Wrestling Federation.

Christened Nakalipithecus nakayamai, the new species fed on nuts, seeds and fruit. [Link]

Nakalipithecus nakayamai is a pretty long name, but at least his close friends got to call him Nak Nak.

"The teeth were covered in thick enamel and the caps were low and voluminous, suggesting that the diet of this ape consisted of a considerable amount of hard objects, like nuts or seeds, and fruit," Yutaka Kunimatsu at Kyoto University's Primate Research Institute said in a telephone interview. [Link]

The ape's descendants have moved on to other hard things, such as hard candy and hard liquor.

Published in the latest issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the finding is significant as it gives credence to the theory that the evolution from ape to man may have taken place entirely in Africa.

Prior to this finding, there had been so little fossil evidence in Africa dating between 7 to 13 million years ago that some experts began to surmise that the last common ancestor left Africa for Europe and Asia, and then returned later. [Link]

Those were the good old days when Europe didn't have strict immigration policies. Just about any ape could immigrate.

I'm not sure if Nak Nak left Africa and came back. We'll have to see if archeologists manage to find his passport.

Photo by Kaptain Kobold

Signs you might see in Africa

And give them directions to Antarctica.

Photo by Susan Renee

Aren't you glad you're driving an Impala?

Photo by kimyidionne

It also leads you to paint unclear signs.

Photo by SqueakyMarmot

 

Column: Missing out on Halloween

Since it's Halloween, I thought you might enjoy a column I wrote a decade ago.

 

  MISSING OUT ON HALLOWEEN

  Halloween has always been somewhat of a mystery to me.
 
  Perhaps that's because I grew up in Africa, where you'd have
  to be a little crazy to leave your pumpkins outside. Folks
  there never have trouble distinguishing between decorations
  and food. And leaving food on your porch is not a good idea.
  Especially during a famine. When people are starving, there
  is nothing more arrogant than decorating your house with
  food.
 
  Actually, the conditions were never that bad in Zambia, the
  country I grew up in. We never felt the need to go door to
  door, begging for candy.
 
  My mom would have been so embarrassed if I had asked a
  neighbor for food. Especially after giving the neighbor a
  threat. Trick or treat? A quick call to my mother and the
  trick would have been saving my butt from a whipping.
 
  If we were guests at someone's house and they offered me a
  second helping of dessert, the correct response was "No,
  thank you." Mom was always watching and I didn't want it to
  be my last dessert.

Rugby World Cup unites South Africans

One thing I love about sports is the role it often plays in bringing people of different races and cultures together. Sure, there has been plenty of discrimination in sports historically, but the overall impact of sports has been positive. Just look at what's happening in South Africa, where everyone's celebrating the Springboks' 15-6 victory over England in the Rugby World Cup final on Sunday.

Smiles and congratulatory handshakes were the order of the day as office workers, shop assistants and street peddlers returned to their jobs after the Springboks triumphed in Paris.

Newspapers, ranging from the predominantly white-backed Citizen to the largely black-read Sowetan, heralded the unity engulfing the nation as it prepared to welcome the team home.

A huge crowd was expected to greet the players when they arrive at Johannesburg's O.R. Tambo International Airport this afternoon, kicking off several days of festivities, including a nationwide ticker tape parade. [Link]

White, black and brown -- they're all celebrating the victory. The blacks would rather win the soccer World Cup and the browns would rather win the cricket World Cup, but as the old African saying goes, "A World Cup in the hand beats two in the bush."

Although rugby is traditionally dominated by the country's white minority, particularly its Afrikaner community – descendants of the original Dutch and French settlers – the black majority has also been swept up in the fever.

Bars in Soweto, the sprawling black township south of Johannesburg, were packed with fans cheering the 'Boks' with the fervour of true believers. Eateries and bars in the giant Indian community in Durban also swayed with supporters. [Link]

White, black and brown -- united in showing their support, united in shouting, "Another beer please!"

A Nigerian with big ideas

Mubarak Muhammad Abdullahi, a 24-year-old Nigerian man, has big ideas -- and it doesn't involve transferring millions of dollars to your bank account. The physics student is building helicopters from old car and motorbike parts, taking recycling to new heights.

"It took me eight months to build this one," he said, sweat pouring from his forehead as he filled the radiator of the banana yellow four-seater which he now parks in the grounds of his university. [Link]

He parks it at the university? Wow!

Professor: "Mubarak, you're always here early. Don't you ever get stuck in traffic?"

Mubarak: "Oh, I come by air."

Professor: "Yeah, right. And I come by sea."

The chopper, which has flown briefly on six occasions, is made from scrap aluminium that Abdullahi bought with the money he makes from computer and mobile phone repairs, and a donation from his father, who teaches at Kano's Bayero university.

It is powered by a second-hand 133 horsepower Honda Civic car engine and kitted out with seats from an old Toyota saloon car. Its other parts come from the carcass of a Boeing 747 which crashed near Kano some years ago. [Link]

Mubarak: "Trust me, sir, I have a helicopter."

Professor: "Really? What kind of helicopter is it?"

Mubarak: "Uh ... it's a Honyota 747."

For a four-seater it is a big aircraft, measuring twelve metres (39 feet) long, seven metres high by five wide. It has never attained an altitude of more than seven feet. [Link]

Professor: "How high does it go? Can it take you as high as the Shebshi Mountains?"

Mubarak: "No, not yet. I'm still trying to get it to go as high as Yao Ming."

Remembering a daughter, educating a village

Their daughter, Elizabeth, died in a bicycle accident in 2002 while serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in Zambia. Linda and Gerry Bowers are keeping her memory alive by doing something that would make her very proud: educating underprivileged Zambian girls. The Oregon couple, who are receiving a commendation from the Peace Corps, created a memorial fund for Elizabeth that evolved into the Elizabeth Bowers Zambia Education Fund.

So far, 85 women in grades eight through 12, who call themselves Beth's girls, have received Zambia Education Fund scholarships, which pay for everything from school and exam fees to tutoring. When the fund started, only four girls from the village were going to school.

Then and now, the only school in the village is Lumwana West Basic School, which goes up to grade nine. Students who want to go to high school -- grades 10 through 12 -- must travel to the next town over, Mwinilunga. Scholarships help pay their boarding costs.

Since 2004, about 25 women have continued on to high school with the help of the Education Fund. Three have graduated, including Prudence Masanyinga, who has gone on to study sociology at a government institute. [Link]

Getting an education is a prudent thing to do, as Prudence would say.

"The most rewarding part of this project is how the education of the girls in this village will eventually expand to improve families and society in Zambia," said Karen Chittick, secretary of the nonprofit's board of directors. "You're not just giving a girl an education. They will return to the village as role models for other girls." [Link]

They'll be models for the boys, too -- not the kind with great figures, but the kind who can figure things out.

Dealing with cannibals in Africa

The Daily Telegraph has an obituary of David Muffett, who spent 16 years in Nigeria during the colonial era, that doesn't put Africa in the best light.

David Muffett, who has died aged 88, applied the skills he had honed when dealing with cannibals in colonial Africa to battling education ministers and teaching unions in his role as chairman of Hereford and Worcester County Council education committee. [Link]

Cannibals? You don't say? Pray, tell me more.

In 1960 he apprehended the Tigwe of Vwuip, a northern Nigerian tribal chief who had eaten the local tax collector. The Tigwe had apparently been so impressed by the man's ability to acquire money on demand that he had — understandably — decided to try to assimilate his powers.

It was not so much this particular misdemeanour that bothered Muffett; what really worried him was the fact that a UN delegation was due to visit the area, and "I wasn't about to have one of them eaten. I considered that it would be a highly retrogressive step."[Link]

Yes, indeed. It's never a good idea to have a visiting UN official eaten.

Nshima, the underappreciated food

My good friend Heli, a Zambian-American, was kind enough to cook some nshima for lunch during my recent visit to his home in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania. I had two helpings of nshima, along with some cabbage and chicken curry (pictured), and would have eaten more, had my stomach not started to resemble a beach ball. Nshima is very filling -- it's one of the heaviest foods I know, and if you don't believe me, just try bench-pressing a plateful of nshima.

Nshima is the staple food of Zambia, the country I grew up in. (It's also eaten in surrounding countries, though known by other terms, such as sadza in Zimbabwe and ugali in East Africa.) Zambians are crazy about two things: nshima and soccer (which may explain why they shape nshima into round balls before eating it). As British freelance journalist Jamie Baldwin wrote during a visit to Zambia, "Every Zambian inhabitant eats the stuff, morning, lunch and dinner -- without exception. And they love it, absolutely love it. Starve a Zambian of nshima for more than 12 hours and they break out into cold sweats and delusions."

Nshima is made from corn (or maize) meal, known to Zambians as mealie meal. According to Wikipedia, "The maize flour is first boiled with water into porridge and then skillfully 'paddled', not stirred, to create a thick paste with the addition of more flour. Zambians consider cooking nshima an art form with the aim of achieving the correct texture and taste." I never realized this before, but my friend Heli is a very good nshima artist.

Mandela's alive and so is Bush's reputation

Poor George Bush. Eloquence isn't one of his strong suits, but even when he tries hard and manages to string a few coherent words together, he still gets ridiculed, as a Reuters article shows.

Nelson Mandela is still very much alive despite an embarrassing gaffe by U.S. President George W. Bush, who alluded to the former South African leader's death in an attempt to explain sectarian violence in Iraq.

"It's out there. All we can do is reassure people, especially South Africans, that President Mandela is alive," Achmat Dangor, chief executive officer of the Nelson Mandela Foundation, said as Bush's comments received worldwide coverage.

In a speech defending his administration's Iraq policy, Bush said former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's brutality had made it impossible for a unifying leader to emerge and stop the sectarian violence that has engulfed the Middle Eastern nation.

"I heard somebody say, Where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas," Bush, who has a reputation for verbal faux pas, said in a press conference in Washington on Thursday. . . .

References to his death--Mandela is now 89 and increasingly frail--are seen as insensitive in South Africa. [Link]

Well, it should be fairly obvious that Bush was using a metaphor -- and a good one at that. But of course most people would find it hard to believe that Bush even knows what a metaphor is.

Reporter: "President Bush, why did you allude to Nelson Mandela's death."

Bush: "Uh ... I was speaking ... uh ... meta ... uh ... metaformically. I was using a metaform."

South Africans united in pigging out

National Barbecue Day -- it sounds like something that would be quite popular in North America. Every holiday, of course, is an excuse to pig out, not just Thanksgiving, but also Christmas, Easter and Fourth of July. The latter could easily be called National Barbecue Day. After all, Fourth of July is all about celebrating freedom, particularly the freedom to stuff yourself. So perhaps South Africa is just trying to accept reality.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu has become the patron of South Africa's Barbecue (Braai) Day, saying the pastime is a unifying force in a divided country.

The Nobel Peace Prize laureate celebrated his appointment by donning an apron and tucking into a sausage outside his office.

"This is something that can unite us. It is so proudly South African, so uniquely South African," he said. [Link]

Food can indeed unite people. If you're serving me a delicious sausage sandwich, I really don't care whether you're black, white, brown, short, tall, fat, thin, gay or heterosexual. Heck, I'd even accept a sandwich from George W. Bush.

A statue for a statesman

It warmed my heart to hear that a statue of Nelson Mandela was just unveiled in London's Parliament Square. I consider him the greatest leader of this era. I don't know if anyone even comes close (put your hand down, Fidel). He is the Gandhi of our time and we should be throwing away our Beyoncé  tickets and lining up to see him.

Talking to crowds who gathered for the unveiling, Mr Mandela said: "Though this statue is of one man, it should in actual fact symbolise all of those who have resisted oppression, especially in my country." [Link]

Few people resisted like he did. He spent 27 years in prison. And even more inspiring was his policy of reconciliation when he came out. Elected South Africa's first black president in 1994, he stepped down after only one term, resisting the temptation to cling to power like so many leaders (put your hand up, Fidel).

"Long after we are forgotten, you will be remembered for having taught the world one amazing truth," said Mr Livingstone.(London's mayor)

"That you can achieve justice without vengeance.  I honour you and London honours you." [Link]

Every city in the world should honor him. Streets, schools and babies should be named after him. Boys should be named Nelson and girls should be named Nelsona. But that isn't enough. The whole galaxy should honor him. The moon should be renamed "Moondela" and the sun should be renamed "NelSun."

Illegal to be gay in Uganda

Homosexuality is against the law in many parts of the world, including India and most African countries. In Uganda, it carries a maximum punishment of life imprisonment and 95 percent of Ugandans seem to like it that way. Katherine Roubos, a 22-year-old from Minnesota, has been writing about gay issues in the East African country while interning at the Daily Monitor. In a recent piece, several gays and lesbians described their struggles to her. One 30-year-old man said he once thought he would "grow out of it," but has come to accept his homosexuality.

I am hiding, constantly wondering who is watching, afraid of accusations, but on the other side, I am happy because I have a community and I am following my heart. I have been with my partner seven years and we are very much in love.
When the people talk about gays and lesbians they run directly to talk about sex. But it is love between us, not just sex. When we are together, we are happy, just like a newly married couple would be. We trust and love each other.

I am very religious, but it is hard for me to go to church because I don’t feel safe there. But I was created by God, created like this; God did not make me wrong.
[Link]

He feels unsafe in church! Where's he supposed to go to feel safe -- the dark alley behind the bar?

Virgin power in Zambia

Here are a few AIDS-prevention posters being used in Zambia. Some urge youths to abstain from sex, others promote condom use, a few try to do both.

 

I'm not sure what the first woman is saying, but the second is saying, "Stop hugging and start walking!" and the third is saying, "Leave me alone!" I like the idea of "Virgin Power, Virgin Pride." In the western world, the only people who seem to  exhibit "Virgin Power, Virgin Pride" are the ones who work for Virgin Airways.

 

 

 

 

 

You'd better use it when there isn't love too!

Please help the dirty German children

UNICEF Germany has withdrawn a series of ads designed to bring attention to the millions of African children who can't attend school. The ads featured white children whose faces had been blackened. Some bloggers and others found them rather offensive. In a letter to one of them, UNICEF press officer Rudi Tarneden explains the ads:

The idea behind is that children from Germany demonstrate their solidarity with children in Africa by showing up with a coloured make up. Their message s: "Children may look different but are equal - we all want to go to school." Absolutely no connotation of black children as "dirty children" was intended.

Before publishing the ad, we had carefully discussed possible misinterpretations and the agency had also tested public reaction in a survey in Germany, without receiving negative comments. Neither did we receive any negative reaction from the German public after publication.

The ad was published in a few high-quality print media like Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung,