One of my New Year's resolutions is to lose weight and get into shape. It was my New Year's resolution
last year too. And the year before. And the year before that. But this year, I'm really determined to do it. If you're trying to lose weight too, here are some tips on dieting that may help you:
---You will not find anything healthful in the vending machine. Even if the machine has something healthful, you will not see it.
---If your snack gets stuck in the vending machine, be thankful. You will burn a few calories shaking the machine. And if the machine falls on you, you will probably be thinner.
---Eating a lot of low-fat pies is a good way to get high-fat thighs.
---It is better to count calories than to count chins.
---Candy is not good for you, so stop flirting with her.
---Limit your intake of dates and nuts, as well as your desire to date nuts.
---You cannot eat just one piece of chocolate, unless it's the last piece in the country.
---Drinking three glasses of water before every meal will help you lose weight, because you'll burn a lot of calories running to the bathroom. [Link]
The important thing is to think longterm. Small changes can produce big results. If you lose a pound every month from January to November, you'll be able to pig out in December, gain 10 pounds, and still finish the year one pound lighter. By 2038, you will have lost 30 pounds, just in time to fit into that narrow rocking chair.
Photo by Gee-Kay
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