Nshima & Curry

Column: The hardest job in the world

Until I became a parent, I didn't know how challenging it could be. I thought it would be easy, like driving in New York City or getting all my teeth pulled. I thought I would just make the rules -- "Don't forget to tidy your room before going to bed" -- and my children would follow them -- "Yes, Dad, we'll do it right away. Would you like us to tidy your room too?"

I didn't realize how much hair-pulling and teeth-gnashing there would be. I didn't realize how often I'd hear the question "Do we have to keep doing this?" and how often I'd have to reply "Yes, dear, I know it's hard, but we can't give up until the kids are 18."

Don't get me wrong. Parenting has brought a lot of joy to my life. One of my greatest joys, for example, is looking at my three children, admiring their sweet, innocent faces, when they're fast asleep. What immense joy. So much peace and calm in the house. The perfect time to do something romantic with my wife, if only we could find the energy.

When I see teen-agers having babies, I wonder if they know what they're getting into. Have they really thought it through or are they just hoping that their children, by some miracle, will be mini versions of Mother Teresa? I wish my children would be more like Mother Teresa. I'd like to send them off to Calcutta.

Clinton losing battle of endorsements?

Barack Obama won the South Carolina primary over the weekend, but even more significant, he's won some major endorsements. Caroline Kennedy, Sen. Edward Kennedy and his son Patrick Kennedy have thrown their support behind him, with Caroline comparing Obama to her late father, John F. Kennedy.

I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans. [Link]

That's a huge endorsement. And you can bet Obama is trying hard to also get the endorsements of the son of Martin Luther King Jr. and the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi. Well, perhaps not the latter.

Getting the three Kennedy endorsements is a major coup for Obama, but all isn't lost for Hillary Clinton. She still has a chance to get the endorsement of John F. Kennedy's fourth cousin's daughter's mother-in-law's gardener's wife. (And when it happens, it'll be BREAKING NEWS on CNN.)

Actually, Clinton has done better than that.

Trying to dilute the impact of the twin endorsements by the brother and daughter of the late president, the Clinton campaign on Sunday issued a statement of support from Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, a former lieutenant governor in Maryland and a daughter of Robert F. Kennedy.

“I respect Caroline and Teddy’s decision, but I have made a different choice,” Ms. Townsend said in her statement, adding: “At this moment when so much is at stake at home and overseas, I urge our fellow Americans to support Hillary Clinton. That is why my brother Bobby, my sister Kerry, and I are supporting Hillary Clinton.” [Link]

Robert F. Kennedy's children are behind Clinton, but what about his widow? We need to know where she stands and we need to know NOW.

What we do know is that in November 2005 she referred to Obama as “our next president.”

“I think he feels it. He feels it just like Bobby did,” Mrs. Kennedy said in an interview that day, comparing her late husband’s quest for social justice to Mr. Obama’s. “He has the passion in his heart. He’s not selling you. It’s just him.” [Link]

So there's a split in the Kennedy clan, but it's not unusual for members of a family to disagree, especially when it comes to politics. Just look at the Rev. Jesse Jackson's family.

Mr. Jackson, the long-time civil rights activist, is supporting Mr. Obama while his wife, Jacqueline Jackson, is supporting Mrs. Clinton. Their son, Representative Jesse Jackson Jr., is supporting Mr. Obama. [Link]

I don't know about you, but I want to know who's getting the endorsement of all the other Jacksons: Michael, Jermaine, La Toya, Janet and others.

An amazing story of survival

Since it's freezing in Winnipeg, the mercury often dipping below -20 degrees centigrade, I try to spend no more than a few minutes outdoors at a time. I can't imagine spending four days exposed to such weather, as an Alberta man recently did. After just a a few hours, I'd be writing my will in the snow.

CROWSNEST PASS, Alta. — A paramedic used to saving the lives of others found himself having to eat rotten meat and fend off snarling animals to ensure his own survival in rough Alberta bush country.

Ken Hildebrand of Fort McMurray was riding his all-terrain vehicle as he collected animal traps north of the Livingstone Gap, about 130 kilometres southwest of Calgary, on Jan. 8 when the quad rolled after hitting a rock and trapped him underneath.

Mr. Hildebrand, who has a weak leg due to polio, ended up face down on the snowy ground with his machine pinning his strong leg.

“He was stuck there for four days and three nights — almost 96 hours straight,” said Troy Linderman, director of Crowsnest Pass emergency medical services. [Link]

Wow. If I added up all the time I've spent outdoors during the last 20 winters, I don't think it would come close to 96 hours. (Being in my car doesn't count. I usually have the heat cranked up and I often listen to Rush Limbaugh and other talk show hosts, so I'm never lacking for hot air.)

Mr. Hildebrand kept himself alive — albeit sick — by eating the rotting meat of the animals he had collected.

He faced constant harassment from coyotes who were growling and fighting each other just feet away, but was able to keep them at bay by constantly blowing a whistle he had with him. [Link]

That would be my worst nightmare, being stuck under a vehicle in freezing weather and worrying about dinner -- mine and the coyotes'.

As a paramedic, he knew people start losing heat quickly from their upper body so he took a beaver carcass and set it by his groin to help keep his body warm. He used another beaver as a bit of a windbreak and part of its skin as a makeshift pillow. [Link]

Amazing! How many men can say that they've kept warm using beavers? (No, not those kind. Get you mind out of the gutter.)

Email from a U.S. soldier in Iraq

My name is Staff Sgt. James Coker; I am an American soldier, serving in the military with the army’s 3rd infantry division.

What a pleasant surprise to get an email from you, Sgt. Coker. You're the first soldier who has taken the time to write to me and I'm really honored.

With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you.  I found your contact particulars in an address journal.

Address journal? Was it lying around on the streets of Baghdad? I keep telling my friends to be more careful with their "address journals."

I am seeking your kind assistance to move the sum of US$8m (eight million United States dollars) to you in United States; as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here.

Eight million dollars? Wow, that's a lot of money. Of course, you can be assured that I'll spend it well take good care of it. Thank you for selecting me for this shopping spree opportunity. Wait till I tell my wife about this! She likes to go shopping help others too.

Source of money: Some money in US dollars were discovered in dog kennels at a farm house and guest houses in an estate near one of Saddam`s old palaces in Baghdad, Iraq,  during an operation, and it was agreed by Staff Sgt. Kenneth Buff, Sgt. 1st Class Daniel Van Ess and I that some part of this money be shared amongst us before informing anybody about it.

You found the money in dog kennels? What a great hiding place. I would have never looked inside dog kennels. You guys are great. It's amazing that you didn't find those WMDs.

Sorry, we deleted your email account by accident

If there's one thing you don't want to hear from your Internet provider, it's that your email account has been deleted. I can't imagine how many angry phone calls the folks at Charter Communications are getting.

FORT WORTH, Texas -- Charter Communications said it had erased thousands of e-mail accounts by mistake.

A Charter spokesman said an accident during routine maintenance deleted 14,000 accounts. Customers lost all of the information in the 14,000 deleted accounts, including e-mails, photographs and bills.

Lisa Flood of Hurst said she couldn't believe her computer screen.

"I had about eight folders over here," she said. "And all I have now is just, I have nothing. I have nothing." [Link]

A couple of times in the last few years, I wasn't able to access my email account and I worried that it had somehow been deleted. Nowadays I make sure I download my email regularly to my computer using Outlook Express, which saves me the trouble of having to go to my Internet provider's office and wringing someone's neck.

The company said there is no way to recover the lost information.

"We're straight out apologizing for this gaffe," Charter spokesman Craig Watson said. "It's never happened to us before... We've put in place an extra fail-safe system so it will never happen again."

But Flood said an apology isn't enough.

"I hadn't really started to think about some kind of compensation, but sorry just doesn't get it," she said. "They say they're going to keep it from happening again? How do I have faith in that?" [Link]

I agree with her: an apology isn't enough. The least they can do is give Flood and other affected customers free Internet access for a year. That might keep them from switching to another company or doing what I'd be inclined to do: accidentally running into the company's telecommunications tower.

Free drinks and popcorn for only $400,000

A pair of Indiana schools are raising money to put artificial turf on their football fields and have they got a deal for you! Just give them 400 grand and you could see your name in big letters and bright lights.

Under the "Valedictorian Sponsorship Package" that grants naming rights for both high school stadiums, an individual or corporate donor must commit to a total gift of $400,000 spread over 10 years.

In return, the sponsor would also receive promotional signage at all stadium entrances, signage atop scoreboards, a mention on the schools' Recognition Pillar of contributors and VIP parking.

The schools would also provide four season passes to all school events and four concession passes entitling holders to free drinks and popcorn. [Link]

You hear that? Free drinks and popcorn!!! Until they mentioned free drinks and popcorn, I wasn't sold on the deal. I didn't think it was worth 400 grand. But getting free drinks and popcorn clinches it for me.

Now all I need to do is find 400 grand ...

The $250,000 Salutatorian level of commitment authorizes naming rights for a single stadium, while subsiding levels of support warrant a combination of signage and privileges. [Link]

What about free drinks and popcorn? Perhaps they're just going to give you free drinks, but no free popcorn. To get the free popcorn, you're going to have to fork over the extra 150 grand.

Contributions of $100 earn donors an engraved brick reflecting their support in a designated recognition area. [Link]

An engraved brick? I don't want an engraved brick. If I give 100 bucks, I want free drinks and popcorn!

Photo by churl

Column: A fight that's making boxing history

Are you enjoying the big fight? I am. I lost interest in boxing in the 1990s, soon after Mike Tyson fell from grace, but I'm enjoying the sport once again, thanks to all the jabs and fancy footwork in this epic Obama-Clinton clash.

The first round went to Barack Obama, known in boxing circles as The Barackuda. He landed dozens of punches and also followed an unusual boxing tactic: stomping on Hillary Clinton's toes. So dominant was he that when the bell rang, she ran to her corner, sat down and cried. "Boo hoo! He hurt me!"

Everyone thought she'd throw in the towel and run to the locker room, but she's a real fighter. Her trainer, Bill, got her ready, wiping away her tears, treating the cut below her eye and pumping her up with words such as "Go get him, girl!" and "He's a man. Hit him where it hurts!"

Obama came out strong in Round Two with a series of jabs that convinced boxing experts he'd easily win the round. But with a minute left, Clinton stunned everyone with a well-aimed punch that almost floored Obama. Poor guy didn't know what hit him. "Ouch!" he said, staggering into the ropes. "Thank God I wore a cup."

Before he could recover, she nailed him again with an uppercut to the chin, then elbowed him in the gut. “Is that allowed?” Obama asked, but the female referee was distracted by Trainer Bill, who was flashing his undershorts at her. “Hey ref,” Bill shouted. “How'd you like to handle these boxers?”

After splitting the first two rounds, the fighters were determined to win Round Three and came out with a flurry of punches, prompting some boxing analysts to start comparing the fight to the classic 1975 Ali-Frazier clash, known as the Thrilla in Manila. The main difference, of course, was that Ali and Frazier didn't fight dirty.

Which country would make you happy?

Does the country you live in affect your happiness? Of course it does, at least to an extent. But there's no easy formula, as blogger Ethan Zuckerman writes in his review of Eric Weiner's book "The Geography of Bliss."

There are some interesting geographic patterns to happiness. Impoverished and wartorn nations are generally not happy places. Scandinavian and Alpine nations are, for the most part. You might conclude that cold, rich nations are the places to be if you’d like to be happy. But making generalizations in this field is difficult. Many of the former Soviet states are cold, and most rank very low in happiness. Money’s not guaranteed to help either. There’s an "East-Asian Happiness Gap", where wealthy East Asian nations are a lot less happy than you’d expect given their wealth. [Link]

I'd rather be poor in a country that gives me freedom than rich in a country that's restrictive. I'd hate to live in a country that controls the media or chops off the hands of thieves. I'd hate to live in a country where women don't have much freedom, not just the freedom to work and move around freely, but also the freedom to wear bikinis.

Weiner gives us intriguing hints at the state of the art of happiness research, writing at some length about “the hedonic treadmill", a concept coined by Philip Brickman and Donald Campbell, who were studying the happiness of lottery winners and accident victims. Unsurprisingly, the lottery winners were quite happy, and the paralyzed accident victims unhappy. But over time, both returned to levels quite close to their happiness before these surprising developments. [Link]

Yeah, we humans quickly adjust to our circumstances. That 52-inch high-definition TV might make you happy for a few days, but you'll soon get used to it and it won't seem so big anymore, especially when your friend Abdul buys an 80-inch model, the bastard.

Most people believe that acquiring a bit more money would make them happy; they tend to find that acquiring wealth is a trap, as they always want a bit more (hence, the treadmill.) There’s an exception - people who are truly impoverished will see their happiness increase with increased income. But this effect maxes out at a surprisingly low level, around $15,000 in annual income. [Link]

Once your basic needs are met, more money isn't going to make you much happier. I know this because one of my friends has satisfied all his basic needs, including a basic cable package and a basic model BMW.

Photo by i.embrace

More daylight robbery at banks

If you're my age or older, you probably remember the good ol' days when you could use an ATM without paying a fee. Things started changing in the mid-1990s and I expressed my outrage in one of my columns.

Withdrawing money from the bank used to be so convenient. You could visit a money machine almost anywhere. Without paying a cent, you could get enough cash to buy a television or put a large down payment on some basketball shoes.  

But a couple of years ago some banks started charging a fee. If you didn't have an account with them, you had to pay at least a dollar to withdraw money at their ATM (Automated Theft Machine).

Other banks followed suit and now the majority charge a fee. Some even charge as much as $3, more than most of us save in a year. That's a steep fee, especially when you're trying to withdraw $5.

To their credit, banks have tried to make ATMs much safer for us. They've installed bright lights and security cameras. They don't want anyone else robbing us. [Link]

A decade later, the robbery continues unabated.

Chase, which leads the Chicago market in the number of branches and automated teller machines, has hiked the fee it charges non-customers to use most cash dispensers nationally to $3, one of the highest surcharges in the industry.

Previously in Chicago, Chase charged $2. In other markets, Chase might have charged non-customers as little as $1.50.

The increase was effective Jan. 13.

"The extensive Chase ATM network is a convenience we provide our customers," Chase spokeswoman Christine Holevas explained. "Non Chase customers pay a fee for that convenience." [Link]

Well, you can charge 50 cents for the convenience, but anything more is robbery, plain and simple. Sure, the people who withdraw money are agreeing to be robbed, but sometimes they don't have a choice. It's not like there are a dozen ATMs in every mall or grocery store. Usually one bank has a monopoly and if you don't have an account there, the only thing you can do is hand your wallet to the masked gunman.

More babies in America, white, black and brown

Most developed countries want people to have babies, lots of them. They want the babies to grow up, get jobs, pay taxes and help support the elderly. But people in countries such as Canada, Italy and Japan are just not having enough babies, perhaps because of all the costs and effort involved. They don't want to spend a fortune on baby formula and diapers; they don't want to clean up when the baby throws up the formula and finds a gap in the diaper.

In America, however, people are starting to have more babies -- or so it seems.

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP)  -- Bucking the trend in many other wealthy industrialized nations, the United States seems to be experiencing a baby boomlet, reporting the largest number of children born in 45 years.

The nearly 4.3 million births in 2006 were mostly due to a bigger population, especially a growing number of Hispanics. That group accounted for nearly one-quarter of all U.S. births. But non-Hispanic white women and other racial and ethnic groups were having more babies, too. [Link]

When a woman goes into labor, it's her panic; when she gives birth, it's Hispanic. Or something like that.

An Associated Press review of birth numbers dating to 1909 found the total number of U.S. births was the highest since 1961, near the end of the baby boom. ...

Experts believe there is a mix of reasons: a decline in contraceptive use, a drop in access to abortion, poor education and poverty.

There are cultural reasons as well. Hispanics as a group have higher fertility rates -- about 40 percent higher than the U.S. overall. And experts say Americans, especially those in middle America, view children more favorably than people in many other Westernized countries.

"Americans like children. We are the only people who respond to prosperity by saying, `Let's have another kid,"' said Nan Marie Astone, associate professor of population, family and reproductive health at Johns Hopkins University. [Link]

The only people? That really surprised me, so I decided to find out how people in other countries respond to prosperity:

Canada: "Let's have another snowblower."

India: "Let's have another cow."

England: "Let's have another war."

France: "Let's have another bath."

Ireland: "Let's have another beer."

Saudi Arabia: "Let's have another wife."

Column: Don't say no-no to the Nano

Here's some exciting news: The world's cheapest car will soon be hitting the roads of India. Tata Motors recently unveiled the Nano, a car that will surely make many middle-class people happy, particularly Hyundai owners, who will now feel like they're driving luxury cars.

The Nano will come in three models, with the standard one carrying a dealer price of only Rs. 1 lakh (about $2,500), or what Paris Hilton spends on hairspray. As you can imagine, there’s been tons of interest in the Nano, ever since the very first press conference.

Tata spokesman: "We're pleased to announce that we're going to be introducing a one-lakh car."

Reporter: "A one-lakh car? Will it have four wheels?"

Spokesman: "Yes, it will have four wheels -- and even a steering wheel."

Reporter: "What about brakes?"

Spokesman: "Yes, it will have brakes."

Reporter: "Headlights?"

Spokesman: "Yes, it will have headlights."

Reporter: "Air-conditioning?"

Spokesman: "It's a one-lakh car, you idiot!"

The Nano may seem cheap to some Indians, but for others, it's just the right price, enabling them to switch from two wheels to four, to put a roof over their heads. The car is designed to seat five people, which means it's perfect for a family of 12. Three-year-old Raju no longer needs to ride on the crossbar -- he can move to a far more comfortable spot on great-grandma's lap.

Report: Indian-Americans make their mark in another field

The Indian-American community has finally arrived, says a leading sociologist, and it’s not because Bobby Jindal was elected governor of Louisiana or Sanjaya was a finalist on American Idol. Nor is it because Indian-Americans have excelled in fields such as medicine, engineering and business.

The true sign that the Indian-American community has arrived is that it’s making a mark in a field that gets plenty of media exposure: crime. “More Indian-Americans are involved in criminal activity than ever before,” says Jacob George, sociologist at Harvard University. “Obviously, it won’t be seen as a positive sign, but it shows that Indian-Americans are not just sitting back and allowing other communities to grab all the empty spaces in prison.”

As a result, Americans are now seeing more Indian names in newspapers, he said. “It’s not just names like Vick and Peterson in the crime stories,” George said. “It’s also names like Crookmansingh and Embezzleraman.”

In the ’70s and ’80s, when an Indian-American was involved in crime, it was often unintentional, George said. “It was usually a new immigrant who didn’t know the laws of the land,” he said. “Perhaps it was an office worker who thought it was okay to take the stapler home. Or maybe it was an office manager who thought it was okay to take the secretary home.”

These days, Indian-Americans are more deliberate about their crimes, George said. “They work very hard at planning and executing it,” he said. “I’m sure no one is surprised to hear this, but when it comes to criminal activity, Indian-Americans are very ambitious. They don’t bother with petty crimes like shoplifting and burglary. They commit crimes that will put them in either financial security or maximum security for the rest of their lives.”

He cited the example of Balram Chandiramani, a director in New York City’s transportation department who’s been charged with soliciting hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes. “It may seem like a terrible crime,” George said, “but how many Indian-Americans can say they’ve been on the front page of the New York Post?”

Even leaders of the Indian-American community are not exempt from committing crimes, George said, noting that Maryland state legislator Kumar Barve has been charged with driving under the influence. “Don’t forget that George W. Bush committed the same crime  many years ago,” he said. “So perhaps Barve is just preparing himself for higher office.”

Clinton or Obama, it's going to be a first

I love it. I love seeing both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama doing so well. I'd love to see one of them win it all and make history, giving America either its first black president or first female president. (It would have been nice to get both firsts at once, but Oprah doesn't want to take a pay cut.)

It would really be strange seeing Bill Clinton return to the White House as First Lad (a term others have suggested). When Hillary is in those high-powered meetings with other heads of state, what's Bill going to be doing -- chatting up the interns? Perhaps he'll be in the laundry room, ironing her shirts.

America would have another President Clinton, but the 2009 version might just be better, especially since she's already had some experience in the Oval Office, even if it's just looking through the keyhole.

If Obama wins, I'm eager to see whom he appoints to his Cabinet. Will the majority of his Cabinet be minority? Will he appoint a few token non-minorities? Actually, I'm sure the non-minorities would be in the majority. Which would be fine, of course. The important thing is to appoint qualified people, as well as a few of your college buddies.

Perhaps we'll see a Clinton-Obama ticket, which would give us three firsts. We would not only have the first female president and first black vice president, it would also be the first time someone has replaced his cousin as veep.

There is a chance, of course, that neither Clinton nor Obama will win the presidency. Perhaps it'll be John Edwards or John McCain or Mike Huckabee. Perhaps America will elect a white man as president.

Well, if we can't have a first, at least we'll have a 44th.

Barack Obama moves closer to presidency

In my last column, I predicted that Barack Obama would become America's first African-American president. Since then, he's taken a commanding lead in the race to become the Democratic Party's nominee, making Hillary Clinton cry and Joe Biden say "bye."

It's still early in the race, but Obama is making people believe that he can win in November, that the White House need not be a White Only House.

Polls have indicated the vast majority of Americans say they would support a black candidate seeking the White House. A Gallup survey conducted in early 2007 found only 6 percent of men and 5 percent of women said they would not vote for a black presidential candidate — a seismic political shift from 50 years ago when more than half those surveyed felt that way. [Link]

That's an amazing change, something that should make Americans proud. Well, everyone except the 6 percent of men and 5 percent of women who are boobs.

Though Obama's win captured headlines and gave his campaign fresh credibility, he is not the first black candidate to triumph in a Democratic presidential contest.

In 1988, civil rights leader Jesse Jackson, making his second bid for the White House, piled up Democratic primary wins in Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Virginia and the District of Columbia along with caucus victories in South Carolina and Michigan.

But Obama's roots and resume — as well as his campaign — are unlike other black candidates who've run for president. The son of a father from Kenya and a mother from Kansas, Obama was just a child during the dawn of the civil rights movement, grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia and has not made race the centerpiece of his candidacy.  [Link]

His mother is a white Kansan, his father was a black Kenyan, and he's biracial, with strong ties to both communities. He's like a rainbow candidate, but without a Mexican grandfather and Chinese grandmother.

"Obama is running in a way that a lot of white voters feel very sympathetic," said Merle Black, an Emory University political scientist. "He doesn't make them feel guilty. He's not running a Jesse Jackson campaign or an Al Sharpton campaign. He's positioned himself to be a candidate who happens to be black, rather than a black candidate."  [Link]

That's an important distinction. Most Americans don't really care if the CEO of their company happens to be black, as long as he knows how to perform magic in the boardroom; they don't really care if their surgeon happens to be black, as long as he know how to perform magic in the operating room; and they don't really care if their plumber happens to be black, as long as he knows how to perform magic in the bathroom.

Losing the weight in 2008

One of my New Year's resolutions is to lose weight and get into shape. It was my New Year's resolution last year too. And the year before. And the year before that. But this year, I'm really determined to do it. If you're trying to lose weight too, here are some tips on dieting that may help you:

---You will not find anything healthful in the vending machine. Even if the machine has something healthful, you will not see it.

---If your snack gets stuck in the vending machine, be thankful. You will burn a few calories shaking the machine. And if the machine falls on you, you will probably be thinner.

---Eating a lot of low-fat pies is a good way to get high-fat thighs.

---It is better to count calories than to count chins.

---Candy is not good for you, so stop flirting with her.

---Limit your intake of dates and nuts, as well as your desire to date nuts.

---You cannot eat just one piece of chocolate, unless it's the last piece in the country.

---Drinking three glasses of water before every meal will help you lose weight, because you'll burn a lot of calories running to the bathroom. [Link]

The important thing is to think longterm. Small changes can produce big results. If you lose a pound every month from January to November, you'll be able to pig out in December, gain 10 pounds, and still finish the year one pound lighter. By 2038, you will have lost 30 pounds, just in time to fit into that narrow rocking chair.

Photo by Gee-Kay

Why I'm patient with my kids -- most of the time

The other day, I was carrying a bowl of grits to the living room and it slipped out of my grasp, fell on the carpet and splattered everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Some of it even landed on the keyboard of my laptop. It took me about 10 minutes to clean it all up. It occurred to me how upset I would have been if one of my kids had done what I just did: carried a bowl of porridge so carelessly. I would have been furious. And yet I somehow resisted giving myself a lecture. I didn't go stand in front of the mirror and shout, "What's wrong with you? How could you waste so much food?" I didn't even give myself a timeout.

Parenting requires a lot of patience, a lot of self-control. Children will do so many things to rile you. They'll spill their milk, draw on the walls, squeeze toothpaste into their hair -- and that's on a good day. I really believe they wake up in the morning and say to each other, "Bet you can't get as many lectures as I do!"

I'm not a perfect dad, but I think I'm fairly patient, partly because I remember what it's like to be a kid. I remember all the spankings and lectures I got, not just from my parents, but also from teachers, headmasters and others. I remember what it's like to mess up, almost like it happened yesterday. Come to think of it ... it did happen yesterday. And the day before. In some way or the other, I still mess up occasionally, whether it's spilling grits in the living room, putting the whites with the coloreds in the washing machine, or dozing off when my wife is talking.

If you're a parent, you need to keep reminding yourself what you were like as a kid. And if your memory is faulty, perhaps you need to have a chat with your parents. Perhaps you need to find out how Dad lost his hair and Mom got those wrinkles.

Photo by Hotshoe