Years ago, I looked at Indian matrimonial ads to find a mate. These days, I look at them to find a laugh.
Here are some more excerpts from matrimonial ads on the Net:
You’ve just got to know her: “People who know me say that I am cute, way too nice, very sweet, generous, and just a wonderful person overall as people like being around me. For the people who don't know me they would call me as being bitter, sour, rude, shy, stuck up and someone who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. So depending upon how you want to see me I leave that choice up to you.”
She wants something handsome: “My life partner should be educated, smart, god-fearing, away from bad habits like drinking, smoking etc. He must be employed earning handsome salary.”
He’s got something handsome: “I’m mech. engineer working as a govt. employ and earn handsome money. I want a beautiful girl which can cooperate nicely with my family. She should be family girl.”
She’ll be the sole woman in your life: “I am a slim, attractive, shy, sensitive person. Very caring and homely person with a good sense of humour. Have everything in this world except one thing: a sole mate.”
Mad women need not reply: “I would like to meet a very good, kind and gentle woman to spend my life with. She must be willing to become a member of a family and be positive and easy to get along with. If you are mad all the time and unhappy with life, then please leave me alone because I want to enjoy life and be happy.”
Her grandmother is idle: “My father is into commercial photography and my brother is assisting him in the same business, my mother is a typical housewife and manages the same business from home and I have a grandmother who is really too old to do something.”
She’s fairly intelligent: “Myself a God fearing respectful to elders, like to live life the fun way wishing for a relaxed atmosphere. I will call myself down-to-earth types with fair level of intelligentsia.”
He’s basically irresistible: “I am basically a Software Professional. I am presently working in UK for the past 2 yrs. We are basically from Hyderabad.”
He’s young and clean: “I am 53 but I look 35 and I am good looking. I am veg and a person of clean habits. I am looking for an educated, beautiful, healthy, friend cum life partner.”
He’s honest to a fault: “On the physical plane, I am 5’8”, dark
toned, short black hair,
brown eyes and of muscular build. I am real good
looking. I am energetic, outgoing, honest, straight forward, aggressive,
passionate, loyal and sensitive. I look and feel very young for my age. On the
negative side I can be greedy, lustful and quite an accomplished
critic.”
She’s looking for contenders: “I am looking for a professionally qualified individual who is independent, warm sensitive and a great zeal to live. He should believe in smiling and laughing always. Only serious contenders need apply!”
She doesn’t drink at work: “Hi, as I am not a celebrity yet so obviously I will have to introduce myself. … I am a person who wants to live each moment of life. I'm ambitious but not work alcoholic.”
He’s seeing red about green: “I am vegetarian, non-smoker and don't drink alcohol. … I am divorce do to green card greedy girl. I will provide any details upon request to interested girl if you provide your full details.”
Better get that toupee: “I am a pretty strong headed and strong minded person. I am also very petite, and look very young, so would like to meet someone who doesn't look old enough to be my father.”
Nothing outweighs honesty: “I am 5 ft 4 inch tall and in the process of losing weight ... so right now one could say I am overweight. But that is a whole different story. The fact that I am admitting to that shows that I am an honest person.”
He’ll always think about you: “I am smart, I have my head on my shoulders, and I am constantly thinking about everything. Also would consider myself very thoughtful, generous, and down to earth.”
Don’t mess with her: "Health and exercise is very important to me. I love to dance in general -- and more specifically Salsa, Greek, and Argentine Tango for fun. I have earned a black belt in Taekwondo (so think again if you are planning on breaking my heart, cheating on me, or stringing me along!) …"
Get ready to be loved: "I am the type you would not regret getting to know mainly because of my level of patience, tolerance, understanding and maturity. As for relationships and marriage, I am very confident that my partner would find no reason to complain mainly because of my character and my ability to love to the point where my partner would find the emptiness he once had to be filled by warmth, love, tenderness and joy."
Modesty is his middle name: "I am 33 years old, never married and very fair looking guy. I am very loving, caring, meek, humble, modest and broad-minded. I am a very good sportsman, I played cricket for my state continuously for 7 years."
She doesn’t expect much: “You will be a well mannered, sophisticated, trendy, attractive, loving, honest, loyal, genuine and sweet person who is understanding, respectful, intelligent, romantic, well spoken, has a good sense of humour and family orientated. You should also be homely as well as outgoing.”
He wants to make something clear: “Most importantly reply only and if you are serious enough to make things work if there is a chemistry as we all know beside reading about each other and what not all this requires tremendous amount of time and effort which now a days people are usually afraid to spend. So if you are one of them then we would be wasting time.”
Photo by SuperBhat
this is hilarious!! and sadly not too far from reality
seen some pretty ridiculous ads myself!
Posted by: Megha | October 19, 2008 at 01:09 AM