As you may have heard, Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf declared a state of emergency on
Saturday. Here is the text of the official proclamation:
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Whereas there is visible increase in the activities of
extremists and incidents of terrorist attacks, including suicide
bombings, IED explosions, rocket firing
and bomb explosions, posing a grave threat to Pakistani citizens, as well as their noble and benevolent leader, known to everyone affectionately as Uncle Perv;
Whereas there has also been a spate of attacks on state infrastructure and law enforcement agencies, to the extent that ordinary citizens are asking questions such as, "What law enforcement?" and "We had infrastructure?";
Whereas some members of the judiciary are working against the executive and legislature, thereby weakening the government and eroding the nation's resolve to fight the growing menace of democracy;
Whereas constant interference in executive functions, including but not limited to the control of terrorist activity, economic policy, price controls, downsizing of corporations and urban planning, has weakened the government, demoralized the police force, and caused great happiness to Benazir Bhutto;
Whereas some hardcore militants, extremists, terrorists and suicide bombers, who were arrested and being investigated, were ordered to be released, giving many of them an opportunity to join the media and make fun of me;
Whereas some judges have overstepped the limits of judicial authority and taken over the executive and legislative functions, undermining my ability to execute my power and increasing my desire to execute them;
Whereas the government is committed to the independence of the judiciary and the rule of law and holds the superior judiciary in high esteem, it is nonetheless of paramount importance that the honourable judges confine the scope of their activity to such matters as parking violations and fender benders;
Whereas an important constitutional institution, the Supreme Judicial Council, has been made entirely irrelevant by a recent order and judges have, thus, made themselves immune from inquiry into their conduct and put themselves beyond accountability, a position I know nothing about;
And whereas the situation has been reviewed in meetings with the prime minister, governors of all four provinces, and chiefs of the armed forces, and discussed in bed with my wife, Sehba;
Now, therefore, in pursuance of the deliberations and decisions of the said meetings and discussions, I General Pervez Musharraf, known also as Uncle Perv, proclaim emergency throughout Pakistan and parts of Kashmir.
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