Dear Santa,
It’s been almost 365 days since I wrote to you and I want to
begin by telling you that the gift you brought
me last Christmas just didn’t cut
it. I don’t know where you picked up that lousy beard trimmer. I guess it was
silly of me to expect someone like you to know anything about beard
trimmers.
Before I give you my wish list for this Christmas, I’m sure you want to know whether I’ve been naughty or nice. I’ve been extremely nice, Santa. Unlike you, I haven’t said “ho ho ho” to anyone. I haven’t called a single person “ho,” not even a married one. But I did get slapped in the garden center of Wal-Mart when I asked for a certain digging implement. People are just so touchy these days.
Don’t get me wrong, Santa. I support your right to say “ho ho ho” to anyone you please. People who complain about that are just horrible and hopeless and probably offended that those words begin with ‘ho.’
I’m on your side, Santa, that’s what I want to say. I don’t agree with the U.S. Surgeon General, who believes you’re fat and unhealthy and a poor role model for kids. You’ve always been a good role model for me, Santa. At dinner time, when I’m trying to decide whether to have another slice of pizza, I always ask myself, “What would Santa do?” And then I eat five more.
I also disagree with the people who want you to stop saying “Merry Christmas” because it might offend people of other religions. It’s so easy to get offended these days, Santa. I could get offended every time someone says “What’s up?” to me. Frankly, Santa, I’m getting old and there’s nothing up anymore. Well, aside from my cholesterol, that is.
Listen, Santa, I’d prefer it if you didn’t say “Happy Holidays!” That’s just so dull and insipid. Instead of that, why not say “Merry Christmas!” to Christians and “Happy Diwali” to Hindus? And if you’re not sure if someone is Christian or Hindu, just say, “Merry Chriswali!”

nearest one, saving you the trouble of asking someone.
particularly inept when it comes to double letters: Is it aggressive or agressive or aggresive or agresive? They all look pretty good to me.
Sudan faces a potential punishment of 40 lashes. Welcome to another episode of "As the world goes insane."

able to name the capital of Uganda, but would have no trouble naming the brand of underwear Britney Spears wears. Or
you have to walk three miles to work, buying a Honda Civic may make you happy, especially if the boss gives you a parking spot. But after you've driven the Civic for a year, don't think you'd be much happier if you bought an SUV. Sure, you might be happier for the first week or two, but after your friends are done complimenting you, your level of happiness won't be much different than before. It might even be lower, when you realize that to afford all the extra gas you're using, you have to eat
to vote in an election, perhaps we should let them vote on whether they really want to vote. If democracy ran against monarchy in a free and fair election, it would be trounced like 
washing and waxing them. They enjoy driving their cars -- and enjoy just looking at them too. They get a lot of pleasure out of their cars, almost as much pleasure as they get out of their wives. Some of them don't have wives, of course. They've got only one woman in their lives and her name is Mercedes. Or is it Lexus?
type of monkeys you'd want to eat -- if you're into eating them, that is. Monkey meat is a delicacy for some West African people, including a Liberian immigrant named Mamie Manneh, who has been
wrong 'Guy.'
when I got married. Prabir Das, of Assam, India, isn't so lucky.
Air India treats its passengers. Dozens of people have already posted their stories, mostly complaining about canceled flights, long delays, poor service and rudeness.
publicity for it. 


