Column: Men excluded, us included

They’ve done it in India, they’ve done it in Japan,
they’ve come up with a good plan.

And they’ll be doing it in South Korea too,
sending out the painting crew.

“Ladies only” the train cars will say,
and it doesn’t matter if you’re gay.

You’re not supposed to go in there,
no matter what kind of earrings you wear.

Leave them alone, give them their space;
don’t force them to use their Mace.

They want to be away from certain kinds of men;
they want to have a safe place for Rani, Miko and Gwen.

They want to be away from men who move in too tight;
they want to be away from men who pinch with delight.

They want to be away from men who like to leer;
they want to be away from men who stare at their rear.

They want to be away from men who are big flirts;
they want to be away from men who look down their shirts.

They want to be away from men who are always teasing;
they want to be away from men who can’t help squeezing.

They want to be away from men who love to grope;
they want to be away from men who don’t understand ‘nope.’

They want to be away from men who think they’re trash;
they want to be away from men who are eager to flash.

They want to be away from men who like to lean;
they want to be away from men who act fifteen.

They want to be away from men who are always crude;
they want to be away from men who picture them nude.

They want to be away from Anand, Mikito and Gus;
they want to be away from THOSE GUYS, not us.

They’ll put up with us –- we’re as harmless as a tree;
the worst thing we’ve done is sing off-key.

They’ll put up with men who are always snoring;
they’ll put up with men who are always boring.

They’ll put up with men who have nothing to say;
they’ll put up with men who have tooth decay.

They’ll put up with men who prance in the aisle;
they’ll put up with men who have no style.

They’ll put up with men who never buy a ticket;
they’ll put up with men who always talk about cricket.

They’ll put up with men who never get off the phone;
they’ll put up with men who wear bad cologne.

They’ll put up with men who look the other way;
they’ll put up with men who wear a toupee.

They’ll put up with men who smell of beer and cheese;
they’ll put up with Hare Krishna devotees.

They’ll put up with men who pray non-stop;
they’ll put up with men who listen to hip-hop.

They’ll put up with us –- it’s those other guys they can’t stand;
all because of them, we have to deal with ‘no man’s land.’