I'VE GOT better things TO do than CRITICIZE THEM

The bracelets handed out to students in Iowa were supposed to carry an anti-drug message, but may have given some students the wrong idea.

A New York state company will stop production of Red Ribbon Week bracelets and discard its remaining inventory of the rubber wrist bands because of an unintended message printed on them.

The bracelets, handed out last week to students in the WACO school district in southeast Iowa, carried the anti-drug slogan "I've Got BETTER Things to DO than DRUGS."

The issue was the unintended message of the all-uppercase words: Better Do Drugs.

Mark Taxel, executive vice president of Hauppauge, N.Y.-based Positive Promotions, said no one noticed how the words looked on the bracelets before they were distributed. Only two complaints were received about the bracelets, he said.

Taxel said the company doesn't want to put out a message that could be misconstrued. He said a new bracelet would be produced in all capital letters. [Link]

Perhaps the company needs to produce several versions of the bracelets:

For the student dealer: "I'VE GOT better things to do than DRUGS."

For his rival dealer: "I'VE GOT BETTER things to do than DRUGS."

For the glue- and aerosol-sniffing student: "I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS to do THAN DRUGS."

For the lonely, depressed student: "I'VE GOT better things TO DO than DRUGS."

For the rich, shopaholic student: "I'VE GOT better THINGS to do than drugs."

For her best friend: "I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS to do than drugs."

For the busy, high-achieving student: "I'VE GOT better THINGS TO DO than drugs."

For the grammar-challenged, forever-dieting student: "I'VE GOT better THINgs to do than drugs."

For the school janitor: "I'VE GOT better things TO DO thAn dRUGs."